Julian's Birth Story

Finding out we were expecting was the most exciting moment for both of us (and terrifying)! I was so excited to feel the baby move, watch my belly grow etc...that I did not think about how awful pregnancy can be at times. I was nauseous from straight out of the gate once I saw a line on that pregnancy test.

I think I complained every single day about how uncomfortable I was. I was exhausted to the point of napping every chance I got. I was nauseous 24/7, couldn't cook anything without gagging, couldn't be in the same room when the dogs ate their dinners. Thank God I have such an amazing husband who put up with all of that for months on end and tried to do everything possible to make me comfortable. As for our appointments, Baby M looked great and was growing right on track. We had one minor ER scare, but otherwise, things were moving along.

July 25th, 2015 - our wedding anniversary, and our baby shower! My mom, sister, and friends had flown in to throw us a baby shower. We were surrounded by family and friends, and I tried to put on a happy face throughout it all even though I felt especially horrible that day. That evening, while we all relaxed watching tv, I ended up with a bout of nausea and actually threw up a few times. I hoped it was just a fluke from eating too much cake (or anything for that matter), and brushed it off as par for the course for this pregnancy. While it was probably unrelated to what followed, I feel like the signs were there pointing to trouble to come.

On the evening of the 28th, at 30 weeks pregnant, we went to bed as normal and at midnight I woke up feeling extremely wet. I made my way to the bathroom half awake thinking maybe I wet the bed (they say preggos can do that). When I reached the bathroom it was obvious that it was not just a leaky bladder. I went back into the bedroom and grabbed my phone and started googling what this could mean - hoping it wasn't labor. I was so scared, but I didn't want to wake up Steve if it was no cause for alarm. I ended up waking him up and calling the after hours hotline for the doctor's office. The nurse on the phone told me to leave the house immediately and head straight to the hospital.

We hadn't taken any classes, watched the preterm labor video they show you so you know what to expect should anything like this happen....

We were two deer in headlights. I rushed around quickly gathering some clothes and a towel to sit on. I tried my hardest not to break down crying, but I was terrified for what this meant for our baby.  On our way to the hospital I would start crying, then tell myself to calm down and that everything would be okay. I was trying to hold it together, and I knew Steve was filled with worry. Once we got to the hospital, we went straight to the labor and delivery area where they put me in a triage room to confirm that yes, I was indeed leaking amniotic fluid and that I would not be leaving the hospital without having a baby. I was put into a room in the antenatal side and began steroids to help our baby's lungs develop, and antibiotics to keep infection at bay since I was now extremely susceptible with my rupture.

Then came the magnesium drip. They came by and told me they were going to start this magnesium to help lower the chance that our baby would be born with cerebral palsy. They said it would make my insides feel like they were burning with fire and that I might feel fluish. It was a 12 hour process where they pumped me with a few hours worth of a dose in 15 minutes time, where I felt like my vein would explode from the amount of fluid being pumped in at one time. After the initial dump of mag, it eased up and would be a slow, long drip...watching the minutes tick by until it was over. I wasn't allowed to eat anything but ice chips, and it was just as well since I threw up every thing in my system, and then dry heaved the rest of the time. I couldn't really get any sleep (I tried) because I felt so horrible, and the nurses came by every hour on the hour to make sure I was peeing out the magnesium they were pumping in. My vision was blurry and frightening, but closing my eyes made things worse. I simultaneously wanted Steve to leave badly so he didn't have to see me at my absolute worst moments, and needed him by my side more than ever. By the end of the 12 hours, I was shaking violently, starving, and extremely out of it. They removed my catheter and helped me into a wheelchair. Getting out of the bed was almost impossible. My muscles felt shot and my body was still shaking so badly that I needed major assistance. I was wheeled over to my permanent room (until delivery) - and I'm grateful I didn't have to stay in the mag room with my horrible memories. It took a good chunk of the following day to finally get all of the effects of the magnesium out of my system, and the baby was pretty lethargic as well from the effects.

View from my bedrest room

The following days were spent on bed rest waiting to see if I would go into labor. The maternal fetal medicine doctor came to visit me every morning for 10 minutes, then I was checked every few hours for infection, and the baby was monitored twice a day. It was the highlight of my day when we checked on that sweet baby of ours.  We tried to always have it timed to when Steve was there so he could hear the heartbeat and ease his worries too. The days never really got easier, but some were better than others. I was allowed out to the courtyard for 30 min a day in a wheelchair, and it was a refreshing break. I loved when Steve would show up for the day and we would go spend 30 minutes outside eating lunch and try to forget that we were in this situation (we never really forgot since I was still constantly leaking and unable to leave the wheelchair). Steve came and spent as much time with me as he could, but there were times that I ended up feeling extremely lonely. It was an extremely isolating experience - which is unexpected when you are constantly being seen by nurses, doctors, and visitors. I know it was a difficult time for both of us, since Steve had to commute back and forth - heading home only to catch a little rest and a shower before coming back to be by my side. I'm sure he was more worried than he would ever let on. I couldn't have made it through those ten days, and the 16 days after that if it weren't for being married to such an incredible man. We were also incredibly fortunate to get the amazing staff that we had.

We took a tour of the NICU, since we knew we would end up there regardless of when our baby was born, and I broke down in tears when the nurse showed us the size of baby that could be expected. Ultimately it was comforting to be able to see the area beforehand, and it made things easier when labor finally started. The nurses reassured me that unless Baby M couldn't breathe on his own, I would be able to hold him skin to skin for a few precious moments before he would be taken to the NICU.


About a week into my hospital stay, I began having contractions. I had the sense of impending doom,
and I shared that with the nurses so they could keep tabs on me. Most women in this situation say they had a hunch before labor began and to listen to that because things could move quickly.

Well, my hunch was partially wrong. I had Steve stay because I really thought labor would progress, but after hours of painful contractions, they miraculously just went away.  The next day, I was expecting family visitors and I requested that Steve tell everyone that I needed break. I was exhausted from the night before and emotionally drained.

Contractions started up again later that afternoon, and again, I asked Steve to stay the night - sure that this time it was happening. It was a slow slog for a while...very painful contractions, but not close enough together to alarm anyone. It was late, and they told me to try to get some rest. It was impossible to catch any sleep in between the contractions, now just minutes apart. I suffered through the middle of the night - one failed Ambien attempt to sleep. Through the night I kept changing positions to try to get comfortable, only to be clutching the bed rails or sheets through more contractions. I started pacing the room to try to move things along and ensure that labor didn't reverse like last time...something I carried guilt around for a long time after.

In the wee hours, a nurse came by to check my vitals and noticed I was still wide awake. When she came into my room and asked how I was doing I broke into tears and begged her to do anything to make this stop. She sent the doctor in to check how many centimeters, and I was at 6. They decided to move me to the delivery side. Steve moved all of our belongings over to the delivery room, and while I was waiting for the nurse to approve my epidural my labor progressed faster than any of us expected. The nurse went to check on a test result to get me an epi, and told me in her absence to push the call button if I felt like I needed to push. Well, the instant she left, a contraction hit me hard and the urge to push was undeniable. I was starting to panic since we were in the room alone, and none of the equipment was set up. The nurse came back in, checked my cervix and said it was time! Things are a little blurry  from here, but it was a rush of people prepping equipment and me pushing. I have to say, pushing a baby out is not a fun task any way you go about it, but after 10 days of bedrest...it was so difficult! Thankfully, I had Steve to lean on for support!

At 5:03 am, the doctor told me to look down (I resisted because I thought she just wanted me to see things down there) and there was my baby boy. They laid him on me while they delivered the placenta and cleaned up. I was in shock and I don't think I was processing things as fast as they were happening. They took Julian off to the side to check him out before bringing him to the NICU with Dad keeping a watchful eye the whole time. It didn't take me long to get cleaned up and back to my room, and once Steve came back we walked to the NICU so we could see our son.

Right after birth - welcome to the world Julian Thomas Maestas! 32 weeks